Yesterday, it was my birthday. I turned 31 years old.
Yesterday, my grandma, your great-grandma whom I loved very much went to Heaven.
Yesterday, I cried, and layed around. We ate leftovers and skipped the birthday cake.
But today, it's all about you my sweet girl.
Today you turn 5 years old.
Today we've already made pancakes that look like Micky Mouse for breakfast.
I know that you wanted a big party. A party with birthday hats, themed napkins and lots of friends over.
But instead, you'll have only one of your best friends over to play. Today I'll try to make it special by having you're dad surprise you with Mc Donalds happy meals for lunch.
Tonight we'll make your favorite food for dinner and eat a $6 birthday cake from the grocery store bakery. I apologize that Mom didn't make you a cake from scratch, I want you to know that I really wanted to.
Tonight we will open a few presents and finally get around to carving those Halloween pumpkins that are still sitting on that back deck.
PK, I apologize that I haven't been the Mom you deserve lately. You deserve so much more that I've been able to give.
I love you with all my heart. Today is your 5th birthday and I'm going to do the best I can to make it special.
But Today, it's All About You.
Waiting is the Hardest Part
I'm 38 weeks pregnant today. You would think this post is all about how I just can't wait one single more second to meet my newest little child. Yes, it's so true, we patiently wait for birth to arrive. We anticipate it with so much love and joy. Time cannot pass quick enough.
Sadly, this post is not about birth - it's about the excruciating pain of waiting for death to arrive. Just as we wait for loved ones to come into the world, we sometimes find ourselves waiting for just the opposite.
Today, as I go about my trivial day-to-day business; I can't help but realize that in the back of my mind, I'm waiting for the news that Grandma B (my grandma) has passed. With every ring of the phone, I instantly wonder if this is the call.
I sit here typing this both filled with Joy and Sorrow. Sorrow for the loss of life and void she will leave my family - her presence was immense. Sorrow because at 38 weeks along, I won't be able to travel to say goodbye to her one last time. Joy for the life, example and legacy she has left us with. Joy because I know that when grandma leaves this Earth, she will be free of pain and suffering. Her body will never fail her again, it will be restored and new.
At 89 years old, she has lived a life well lived. Not because of fame or fortune; but because she lead the life God has called us to lead. A Godly woman, wife, mother, grandmother and friend.
Everything I can ever try to strive to be.
She has done it. Achieved it. Lived it.
I could blog...
There are so many things swimming around in my head that I could write about. Lately, I feel like every time I think about blogging, it's just too much work. To get my thoughts out of my head, off the keyboard and onto the screen is just way more effort than I'm willing to give.
Here are a few things I could blog about; and for today - have chosen not to. Some are significant, some are so stupid they shouldn't even be considered writing material:
- Today my grandma is moving into the same Hospice house where I last saw my father-in-law alive. If she was to pass, due to distance, I probably would not be able to attend the funeral. {significant}
- Halloween was awesome. The girls were cute. I could start a whole new blog on what it's like to hand out candy to 150 inner city people. (I would like to say they were all kids, but I probably handed out candy to an equal amount of adults as well).
- I'm almost 38 weeks and nesting has not kicked in at all. I would rather make a nest on the couch with my pillows and blankets and stay there all day than polish silver or dust under my appliances.
- I know exactly how I'm going to go into labor. Stomping up the stairs to scold Birdie. She's developed a very strong will and attitude that I'm not a fan of. Seriously, some of my strongest contractions are when I'm dealing with her. My Mother-in-law gave me a self-helpish book to read that's
suppose to change my kid in 5 days
- We (Michael and I) attended a natural labor class last night. I could say lots about this, but won't. Although when the nurse was talking about ways to "naturally start labor", a same sex couple snickered when the word "penis" and "semen" were used. So did I.
- I have resorted to wearing my husbands shirts in public. Oh, and I think I non-officially outweigh him.
- Speaking of husbands clothes, I got a new iron. I've been asked to review and blog about it, but made my mother-in-law iron all his clothes with it this past weekend. For what it's worth, she said she liked it. I'm sure I'll try it out next week. Right......
- Oddly enough, a good dose of nauseousness has come back to haunt me in these last weeks left. I'm starting to suspect that my diet of frozen burritos, oreos and hot sauce might not be so good for me or baby.
- Paranoid doesn't even come close to the way I feel about my family getting the swine flu in the next few weeks. I wish I didn't need people so bad, or I would hole up in here and never come out.
- I have huge gilt that next week is PK's 5th birthday and I'm not throwing her a party. She wants a party so bad - and as of today, it's just not going to happen.
- Today is the last day to leave a comment if you want to win my Baby K'tan carrier. Clicky over right here.
Oh, I am getting my hair cut and colored this afternoon for the first time since June. If I look stunning, I just might post a picture. Don't hold your breath...
Boo! From The DesignHER Momma Crew
Today Is A Real Treat
Enjoy Yourself
Have a FANGtastic Halloween
Bugs and Hisses,
Emily, Michael, PK & Birdie
37 weeks and giving it away... (no really, a GIVEAWAY)
Today marks a milestone. I'm officially "full term" when it comes to this pregnancy. Yesterday the doctor confirmed that the little munchkin was head down and ready to go. I guess we're as ready as we're going to be - so let's get this party started!
One of my preparations for this little one has been washing the babywearing stash. I didn't ever wear PK, and I wore Birdie every chance I got (picture to the left is one of my very 1st pics I have of the Bird being carried. I think it's from around 3 weeks old, at the Indiana State Fair 2007).
I fell in love with babywearing because I read some great blogs, particularly Steph's and Drea's that convinced me that babywearing was not only stylish but an awesome bonding experience between mom and baby.
Since I can only use one carrier at a time, I've decided that I need to trim the stash down and share the love. And maybe, just maybe, I might be making room for a new carrier (or three) that I've had my eye on. Don't tell my husband...
I could try to sell them, but frankly I'm too lazy and that's just requires too much work for me. Since I love passing things on and sharing the love with you all; I've decided to give one away - every week - until this baby makes his or her appearance. Pretty much, I'll be giving away somewhere between 1-4 carriers!
This week - up for grabs is a Baby K'tan Carrier (retail $58) in size small, color camouflage. It's not new, it's very gently used (by me, like twice).
To enter, tell me something that's on your mind (like what your favorite boy name is, for example). Anyone who leaves me a comment that says "I wanna win this" will be deleted. Because I'm guessing if you're entering - you want it.
Winner will be announced and contacted when week 38 starts, November 6th.
I'll take the Shewman Special (for the team)
Last night we went out to dinner, which is super rare for us. Let's face it, we're smart people and know that eating in is way cheaper that eating out. But last night there was this restaurant (that I follow on twitter) boasting some deals that were too good for even my Dutch butt to turn down...
Kids ate Free!
We had a coupon!
There was a good drink special! (for the mister, not me)
Free pumpkin decorating for the kids!
And for added incentive, they bragged of having one of the best "specialty" burgers in town.
So away we went, to Scotty's Brewhouse for our maiden voyage of all things bar-foodie-ish.
Now here at DesignHER Momma, we've been known to take one for the team when it comes to trying new foods. Remember the State Fair chocolate covered bacon episode? Yep, that was a big fail. A few months back I tried a bacon cupcake from HolyCow Cupcakes (which I didn't blog about), but they ended up being really good.
When we got to the restaurant, we knew that we needed to try the Shewman Special, because Indianapolis Monthly Magazine said it was awesome. Not wanting to feel like we were being left out, we ordered it. Taking a better look at the description we then learned:
It's a 1/2 lb grilled burger, topped with PEANUT BUTTER, cheddar cheese, jalapenos and BACON.
We asked our server what she thought about it. She said it scares her like the dark scares little children.
Well, it came. We ate it (see angry husband photo above, devouring his half). It's my new crave.
I will be having fantasy dreams about this heavenly concoctions for years and years to come. I'm thinking even a little Choula would go well with it.
So now I'm left here wondering how many times I can devour it's meaty-peanut-butter-spicy goodness in the next 3 weeks.
Baby, mama's sorry. I'm taking this one for the team.
*disclosure - I love this burger with all my heart and soul. I took no bribe from anyone affiliated with the brewhouse for this post (other than being woo'ed with a $1 off coupon). Clearly, you can see I'm bought easily. You must try it for yourself before you judge.
Baby's listening - Push it real Good.
I was talking to one of my best friends last week when she asked me if I started getting my hospital bag ready. My response "um...no." Although I have 25 days to go till my due date, she delivered 5 weeks early. With my track record, I plan on seeing December before I see this little one's face.
She cautioned me that I might want to start getting things together "just in case".
She's probably right. The stars might align, I might win the lotto, and I could possibly go into labor before my due date rather than after. It could happen...
Thinking over her advice, I decided that I should start rounding up the necessary supplies. Off to Target I went, to waddle the isles picking up the basic supplies needed for those first few days. I bought a pack of newborn diapers (so cute, so tiny). I bought a box of the biggest maxi pads I could find (seriously not cute nor tiny). Oh, and I also picked up some breast pads and nipple cream (don't you wish cracked, bloody nipples were in your future)?
With that awkward trip to Target behind me; I can now focus on the things that really matter. Today - I'm working on my labor play list. The sounds I'll hear when I'm trying to accomplish the impossible.
I've gone through most of our music, but I need more suggestions.
I want calm, I want soothing. I want to be able to listen to it with the lights dimmed low. I want it to be happy, and I want to be able to hear myself think. Basically, I want the every kind of music my husband hates.
And no, I don't want any dance party Salt n' Pepa "Push it" remixes.
Lay it on me, I'm all ears.
Blogger Belly - 36 weeks
36 weeksYes, I know, I have a bowling ball coming out of my belly.
No, I don't leave the house dressed like this.
*For more "you capture" technology shots, visit my friend Beth over at I should be folding laundry.
Mama's Lazy - Let's Match!
Go figure, we've had a few sick days here at our home. Last week it was an allergic reaction to a Halloween oreo with orange stuffing (don't ask), this week it's fighting a cold due to the crazy lady at the pharmacy.
PK has missed a couple days of school; and while this bums here out, I've kept her busy doing "school stuff". Today the afternoon lesson was matching. (I hate with a burning passion sock sorting, can you tell? What gave it away?)
"Well done! You made a match! Now go fish..."
H1N1: If we didn't have it then, we surely have it now.
Yesterday I experienced one of the most traumatic, scaring experience in my life. The kind of tragic event that you immediately want to forget, but know you will carry it with you to your death bed.
It happened in public, at the grocery store pharmacy.
I was picking up a prescription (for a noncontagious aliment, I must disclose). The script was called in the day before, so I thought it would be ready and waiting for me when we got there. A quick in-and-out experience was what I had envisioned.
Naturally, it wasn't ready. Apparently, there are a lot of sick people right now and the pharmacist was back-up like a Michigan State bartender during happy hour. I was told I was going to have to wait "just a minute".
As I look around my surroundings, I see people who look like they just stepped off the set of MJ's music video, Thriller. I see people not even able to stand, people clutching their stomachs, folks moaning. Moaning. This might sound like I'm making an exaggeration here for a good story, I wish that was the case. Honestly, I've never seen anything like it.
Since we only have to wait "a minute", and I don't want to come back to this mess, the girls and I decide to wait it out. Bad idea. If I'm not totally freaked out and paranoid to the point of paralysis already, the lady behind me (within arms reach) starts to vomit. into a plastic bag. I seriously feel like I'm in a scene of a bad Will Smith movie where everyone is dying of some unknown illness and the world is ending.
I am so grossed out and freaked out that I quickly move the girls and I straight ahead to the soap isle and crack open the nearest bottle of disinfectant we can find. While we're lathering up, the barfing lady is called to the window and picks up her much needed meds. As she's walking out, she has to pass us to get to the door.
And then it happened.
SHE TOUCHES ME ON THE SHOULDER AND APOLOGIZES FOR GETTING SICK. SHE TOUCHES ME (while the other hand is clutching her barf bag)!
I am obviously pregnant. I obviously had 2 small children with me. Why would anyone who is grossly sick touch another human on purpose? I could go on and on about this situation - how I feel about seriously contagious people going out in public. And did I mention she had a family member/friend accompanying her? SHE SHOULD HAVE WAITED IN THE CAR. OR AT HOME. OR OUT SIDE.
Because of this - I have vowed myself to never go into another pharmacy again. I will only take my business to pharmacies that have a drive-thru.
And I can't get the sound of her very vocal vomiting out of my head, no matter how hard I try. I've been changed for life, it was even more damaging to me than the time I found a hair weave tangled in my cart wheel.
As I walked out out of the store, I made a comment to the girls that everyone should be asked to wear masks when going out in public. Little did we know, that when we got the mail later in the day, Aunt Betsy would deliver a little surprise in the mail.
And She will be called Cholula
In this quest to figuring out baby #3's name, many of you have told me that you have named your children after people/places/things that are of importance to you. I think this is an awesome idea - if you have surrounded yourself with people that have cool names.
People that mean a lot to me have names that work for them, but not for me. Although I love many of you dearly, your name just doesn't do it for me when it comes to naming my offspring.
If I did go with this idea of naming my child after things (not people) that have been important in my life, this is what it would look like:
PK would have been named Chester. I ate SO MANY Cheetos during my pregnancy with her that I was amazed she didn't come out with little orange fingers. Lord knows I spent the majority of my pregnancy with them. It's not easy being cheesy.
Birdie would have been named Totino. As in, Totino's Pizza Rolls (preferably the "combo" variety). Every night I would crave these tiny little heavenly pockets of goodness. I still really enjoy a good roll, but not like when I was pregnant with the Bird. It was an unhealthy obsession.
This time around, if this baby happens to be a girl, she will be named Cholula. Bottles upon bottles of this lovely slender lady have been consumed during this pregnancy. I put her on everything. And if I don't pour her on my plate, she's been carefully considered and sadly missed. I might just have to admit that I meal plan around here, making sure she has a place at the table. She's so much for that just a condiment to me. And yes, I do get heartburn and don't care.
What were you're pregnancy obsession? Don't tell me it was broccoli or celery. And I won't believe you for a second if you tell me you craved rice cakes. Be honest.
Chester, Totino and Cholula - would have made a cute bunch of kids, don't you think?
*side note: to the anonymous commenter on my last post who left the comment about naming my kid Terdius, I need to know who you are. You not only made my husband laugh, you made me cry, almost pee myself, and gave me one of my hardest self-induced contractions ever. I might need to hire you to get me through labor.
Perfectly Timed Teasing?
Last night, I learned that PK is being teased because of her name at school. Her real name is Piper. We all know Piper rhymes with Diaper. Looking back, it was only a matter of time.
Talk about a blow to my heart, I'm so sad that kids are being mean to my daughter and I'm not there to defend her. After talking to her about it, I feel she's taking it in stride at this point. She says it's not everyone, just 3 kids.
At this point, she still likes her name and loves to go to school. Let's cross our fingers that it stays that way and this name thing blows over fairly quickly.
Now, I know that there is never a time where taunting and teasing on the playground is appropriate. One of my greatest fears for my girls is they would be a victim of bullying; or worse yet, be the mean girl. {cringe}
It's ironic that I've learned of this teasing the very same week that I've willed myself to figure out what baby #3 is going to be named. As of right now, I have 2 lukewarm options for the girl name, a big ZERO in the boy department. I have 5 weeks to figure this out.
I love unique names, and assumed that we would give this new baby a simple yet off the beaten path type of name. But, after hearing my daughter cry over her name; I'm second guessing my choices.
Suddenly, names like John, Jim, Sarah and Susan aren't sounding so bad after all. (not saying they are bad, just common.)
When you named your kids? Did you think of all the playground possibilities? I mean really, it's not like I'm going to name it Mary Juana, Candy Cane or Dusty Rhodes. I'm not stupid - just a little clueless on what to do this time around.
No, I'm not trying to smuggle.
Like any good Midwestern family, on a crisp and sunny Saturday morning; we headed out to the orchard for a little pickin'.
We filled our bags with carefully selected apples.
We picked the biggest pumpkins our arms could carry.
We even got muddy and felt good about it.
And yes, I may have been asked more than once (of course by a man, because us ladies just don't say these types of things) if I was trying to smuggle one away without paying.
Or if I swallowed a seed.
Keep them coming, because your jokes are just soooooooo funny.
For all you bumpaholics, Baby #334 weeks.
Sneak Peek into the the baby's "Crib"
I'm having my 3rd child.
I'm decorated my gender neutral nursery for the 3rd time.
Michael says this will be his last time ever doing this.
Only time will tell...
Last weekend, I set Michael and the girls to work to freshen up the nursery. You would think I could decorate this room once and be done with it, but no.
I'm an interior designer. This is what I do. At least I have an excuse.
With PK, it was Sheep decor a la Pottery Barn. With Birdie, it was brown and red polka-dots from the Gap. This time around? It's all original, all with a little the help of my crazy talented friends. It's one of a kind to say the least.
I'm want to give you a sneak peak into the room, just a look at the good stuff. Remember this thrift store find? It's been turned into a bed skirt and window valences by one of my BFF's Nicole. She has a cute etsy shop called Little Miss Lexie, but seriously if you ever need any custom bedding or kids clothes, she's your girl (especially if you live in Central Indiana).
The art above the crib? Custom made just for this little one from another one of my favorite people (and also interior designer), Melinda. Melinda creates upcycled art (out of discarded vinyl wall covering). She's just getting started with Covered Art and Design, her new little side business.
I love how it's turned out so far. I'm going to wait on the rest so I can accessorize it with either dolls or dump trucks.
I do know I'll be getting another piece of artwork from Mike Altman, I LOVE his stuff (Birdie has a cool "girlie" piece that I moved to her new big girl room).
Oh, and I've ordered a new rocking chair. A hint on the chair? It's from an amazing company located in my hometown of Zeeland, MI. It's retro-fab.
I can't believe I only have 6 more weeks to go. I think I'll be ready soon!
