A couple of nights ago, Birdie and I were slightly under the weather. I feared it was the calm before the storm, since PK had a mild case of the flu on Tuesday I and I swear everyone I know in Michigan is hanging their head over the toilet as I type this post.
Assuming we were both getting sick, I decided it would be for the best to hang back from our weekly church group dinner. Longing for some peace and quite, I sent PK and Michael on their way to group.
I decided that I would try and kill two birds with one stone and bathe Birdie while I took a shower. For my girls, if I want to attempt an early bedtime, we have to have baths. Honestly, it could be 4:30 in the afternoon, I could give them baths, tell them to put their jammies on, and have them tucked away by 5:20, no lie. (But if I do this, I must be prepared to make waffles at 3:30 am, believe me, I've learned this little lesson the hard way).
Anyway, back to the story. Right. Where was I? Oh yes, she was dirty, I needed a shower, and I was attempting the ole' early-bedtime trick-er-roo.
:scene:
I'm standing under the shower, eyes closed, enjoying the hot water in my scalp. Birdies at the other end of the tub, making out with one of her yellow rubber duckies. There's about 2 inches of bathwater for Birdie to splash in.
I'm mid suds, hair full of bubbles (and my very glamorous bumble & bumble shampoo...love that stuff). I open my eyes, look down at Birdie, and realize that the reason she's laughing is because she just took a giant aqua-dump in the tub!
:scene:
What was I to do? Naked baby splashing in poop water, naked momma with her hair full of shampoo, turd floating my way*.
Needless to say we survived. I just learned a valuable lesson in multi-tasking. I had to take a post-shower from my dirty shower. Sometimes I just can't win.
Moral of the story: Don't bath your children. Oh, and God will punish you if you skip church group for just a little stomach ache.
*now aren't you glad I didn't include a picture with this post?
*oh, and there's nothing better than thinking your coming down with the stomach flu, gaging, and then realizing that the reason for the gag is because your fishing a log out of your tub.
*can someone please pass me the bleach?
In theory it was a good idea (until someone aqua dumps)
Friday, December 05, 2008
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I'm a Momma
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22 comments:
Fri Dec 05, 02:38:00 PM
Yes, I've learned that God likes to keep that 'smite' button handy.
Fri Dec 05, 02:46:00 PM
This is so funny! I am laughing!!
Fri Dec 05, 04:18:00 PM
Oh YUCK. That makes my feet feel dirty thinking about it. ;)
I'm SO SURPRISED non of my boys has done that in the tub yet. Of course now I just jinxed myself.
Fri Dec 05, 04:42:00 PM
Is that really that different than a lake bath? Like you've never done one of those. - Also, can't wait until Mrs. Blonde reads this one. She will roll! [Ah]
Fri Dec 05, 05:15:00 PM
Oh my... that is ridiculously funny :)... love it!!!
Fri Dec 05, 06:07:00 PM
OMGosh, this post seriously cracked me up!! Oh, I needed that laugh! My kids have pooped in the tub before, but not while I was in it!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Fri Dec 05, 07:31:00 PM
This is so funny! I used to put 2 or even 3 of you in the tub at once and yes we had a few foreign things floating once. Yikes!
Fri Dec 05, 07:49:00 PM
So funny!! We have bath poop offenders as well, but I have always been OUTSIDE the tub. This story made me smile!
Fri Dec 05, 09:21:00 PM
Hah! I just can't wait for motherhood. i am so glad I now know the meaning of the words "aqua dump."
Fri Dec 05, 10:14:00 PM
So funny. Something similar happened here when we decided to skip a swim diaper one fine summers day. Drain the pool AND pass the bleach. Yuck.
Fri Dec 05, 10:28:00 PM
o.k. this is one of the funniest stories i have ever heard!! we use to wish that would happen when i lifeguarded at the bouws pool.
Sat Dec 06, 05:19:00 AM
Oh crap! There must have been a reason I was lying awake at 4am this morning and finally decided to get out of bed. I needed to finally catch up on my blogs - thank you! Thank you! Thank you for starting my Saturday with an actual belly roll laugh.
Sat Dec 06, 09:00:00 AM
I'm laughing out loud. Thanks so much for the warning. We have had it happen, but not while we were in there too.
Sat Dec 06, 05:21:00 PM
Yeah, that sucks. Imagine being seated in the tub full of water when that happens. Yeah, that was fun...
Sat Dec 06, 07:59:00 PM
My oldest 2 have both done this - though, not while I was in the tub with them. Once, my second did this while both of them were in the tub together..... #3 hasn't done it yet (she's only 2 months), but I'm sure at some point it will happen.
Pass the rubber gloves and bleach, please!
Sat Dec 06, 09:30:00 PM
HA! Hubby bathes the children and I love listening to him scream like a girl when one of them let's a log loose in the tub!
Sun Dec 07, 12:09:00 AM
just wanted to let you know the allowance sheets I use come from the tessy and tab website... they're GREAT!
http://www.tessyandtab.com/money/printables.htm
AND... this post (as well as all of the comments) STILL have me cracking up!!!
Sun Dec 07, 02:49:00 AM
HOWLING over here!!!!
Both my kids have pooped in the tub - but fortunately I was not in there WITH them! WOW - that is awesome. I can't stop laughing.
BTW - LOVE LOVE LOVE your header. GREAT WORK GIRL! :)
And yeah for twitter - just hopped over here from there.
Sun Dec 07, 07:48:00 AM
I am laughing so hard over here!!! Luci is legendary about pooping in the tub...but Ive never had that one before!
Mon Dec 08, 03:05:00 PM
Kids are so dirty, even when you try to clean them.
Tue Dec 09, 03:26:00 PM
Oh, we have definitely had a few "aqua dumps" in our days and I THINK one of them I might have been involved...really by the time you get in there and clean IT up, the kids up and the tub you are pretty involved anyway. YUCK!
Wed Dec 10, 10:55:00 PM
Hilarious poop story! I love a good poop story!
My girls are pooping machines! All three of them. Yeah. Poop machine X 3 = More poop than one momma should have to deal with.
Thanks for a good laugh!
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