Yesterday, it was my birthday. I turned 31 years old.
Yesterday, my grandma, your great-grandma whom I loved very much went to Heaven.
Yesterday, I cried, and layed around. We ate leftovers and skipped the birthday cake.
But today, it's all about you my sweet girl.
Today you turn 5 years old.
Today we've already made pancakes that look like Micky Mouse for breakfast.
I know that you wanted a big party. A party with birthday hats, themed napkins and lots of friends over.
But instead, you'll have only one of your best friends over to play. Today I'll try to make it special by having you're dad surprise you with Mc Donalds happy meals for lunch.
Tonight we'll make your favorite food for dinner and eat a $6 birthday cake from the grocery store bakery. I apologize that Mom didn't make you a cake from scratch, I want you to know that I really wanted to.
Tonight we will open a few presents and finally get around to carving those Halloween pumpkins that are still sitting on that back deck.
PK, I apologize that I haven't been the Mom you deserve lately. You deserve so much more that I've been able to give.
I love you with all my heart. Today is your 5th birthday and I'm going to do the best I can to make it special.
But Today, it's All About You.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Labels:
I'm a celebrator,
I'm a Momma
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29 comments:
Tue Nov 10, 10:22:00 AM
I'm so sorry about your Grandma, Emily. Try not to be so hard on yourself. xo
Tue Nov 10, 10:22:00 AM
Happy Birthday PK!
Tue Nov 10, 10:23:00 AM
She's gorgeous! Happy Birthday to her. Sounds like it's going to be a great day.
Happy belated Birthday to you, although I know it was a sad day for you. Hugs and prayers for your family...
Tue Nov 10, 10:23:00 AM
I bet when she looks back, all that she'll remember of her fifth birthday is that you WERE the best mom ever.
Tue Nov 10, 10:25:00 AM
Where the hell have I been?
Seems like I need to be writing a "sorry I haven't been the friend you needed Emily" post.
Bah.
Must and will fix. (You know, after my kid stops barfing and blah blah blah...)
Friend FAIL.
Tue Nov 10, 10:45:00 AM
Sorry about your rough day, yesterday. And don't sweat the little things right now, your daughter will be over the moon when the baby arrives.
Tue Nov 10, 10:45:00 AM
Happy birthday Piper!!! Mama hope you feel better soon and again so sorry about your loss
Tue Nov 10, 10:45:00 AM
So sorry about your Grandma. Mine passed away one day after my son's 10th birthday and it was definitely a difficult time for everyone. Unfortunately, it was not the best birthday for my son...hopefully it will be better for your sweet PK.
Tue Nov 10, 10:56:00 AM
Happy Birthday to your sweet girl! Many prayers sent your way for peace and happiness as you celebrate the precious life of PK, the gift that you are, the wonderful life of your grandma.
Tue Nov 10, 11:33:00 AM
Wow...that's a lot all at once.
Happy birthday to PK and to you.
Hugs and prayers to you and your family at this time of loss.
Special hugs to you. The last part of my 3rd pregnancy was really hard, too. All I have is prayers for you, friend.
Tue Nov 10, 11:41:00 AM
So sorry about your Grandma. The great thing about kids is that they care a lot less about things like store bought cake than their moms. Leave the mommy guilt behind, at nine months pregnant you are doing good if you aren't curled up in the fetal position wailing all day. Prayers sent you way.
Happy Birthday PK!!
Tue Nov 10, 12:48:00 PM
Emily,
I know you feel guilty about the "kind of mom" you've been lately. But when I see Piper's face in the picture you posted, I don't see a little girl lacking in love. She looks genuinely happy to be right where she is, living in the moment.
I hope you get a chance to do the same thing today - live in the moment.
Jennifer
Tue Nov 10, 01:09:00 PM
So sorry about your grandmother, Emily.
It sounds like your 5-year-old is going to have every 5-year-olds dream day, though! I love the fact that you can see Sponge Bob in the background of the picture. Makes me think of her very clever Sponge Bob recording plan that went horribly awry. Happy birthday to you and your super-smart girl!
Tue Nov 10, 01:22:00 PM
I'm so sorry about your grandma. Happy birthday to both you and your sweet girl...I hope you can celebrate today in spite of the sadness!
Tue Nov 10, 01:29:00 PM
Happy Birthday Piper!! What a lot of emotions for you today Em! (And not fair for a very pregnant woman!) So sorry to hear of your grandma's passing...so glad to hear of her divine appointment though. Hugs to you all!
Tue Nov 10, 02:57:00 PM
I'm so sorry. Hugs to you and yours.
Happy birthday, 5 year old!
You know, on my daughter's 8th birthday we got the news that her 1 week old brother tested positive for Down syndrome. Her birthday gift hadn't arrived in the mail yet, and we put the kids to bed at 7 PM to spend the evening digesting the news of a disability. I felt like the worst mom ever and suffered mucho guilt over that birthday. Becky remembers none of it.
The point is, you love your girl. She knows that. She'll remember the love and fun you had and not the fact that you failed what you wanted to do.
Tue Nov 10, 03:31:00 PM
She looks very happy regardless of having a big party or not. Happy Birthday, PK!
I am so sorry for your loss. My prayers will be with you.
Tue Nov 10, 04:23:00 PM
Big birthday wishes to PK! Still thinking of you and everything you have on your plate right now. Sending you big hugs and prayers.
Tue Nov 10, 07:49:00 PM
So sorry to hear about your Grandmother. Now you share a day of birth - her birth to Heaven.
Looks like PK is having a good day from the pictures... cake is cake when your 5 - she won't know it's from not from scratch. What she will know is that she made those pancakes! :)
Tue Nov 10, 11:17:00 PM
Emily, I'm so sorry for your loss, that had to have been incredibly tough. My roommate just lost her grandmother too, and I can't imagine losing someone I was close to. I hope PK had a great birthday though, I'm sure it was wonderful.
Wed Nov 11, 10:55:00 AM
Aw Em. Happy Belated Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday to you Piper!
Things will get easier once you get that baby outta yer belly!!!
Thinking of you all.
XOXOXOX
Wed Nov 11, 12:12:00 PM
Surrounding you with prayer. Happy Belated Bday to you and PK. grace and peace.
Wed Nov 11, 04:15:00 PM
Happy birthday to you all. I'm sorry this week has been so intense for you. Be well.
Wed Nov 11, 04:50:00 PM
Oh gosh. Sorry about your grandmother. Happy belated birthday to you and Happy birthday to PK. Don't be so hard on yourself about her birthday...to a child all the things you mentioned you are going to do will leave a lasting good memory of this day.
Thu Nov 12, 09:16:00 AM
I am so sorry for your grandmother's passing. (((Hugs)))
Happy birthday PK! May your day be filled with sunshine & rainbows! (and apparently happy meals!)
Thu Nov 12, 12:54:00 PM
Your post made me cry. I'm so sorry for the loss of your grandma, but what made me cry was how clear it is that you love your daughters and are doing everything you can for them. Sometimes that looks pretty amazing - the exact way we dream of it looking, with beautiful and fun parties and homemade cakes - and sometimes it looks like putting one swollen foot in front of the other while we carry around new life and try to continue to take care of the others we have already been given. PK knows you love her, and that is what she will remember most about her 5th birthday - not the absence of things that fade away. You are a great mom and an inspiration, even though I don't know you. Hang in there, and go a little easy on yourself today.
Thu Nov 12, 04:49:00 PM
Love you girl
Sun Nov 15, 09:45:00 PM
So sweet... bittersweet birthdays. I am so sorry that your grandma passed, especially on your birthday. I can't even imagine.
Your daughter is so lucky to have you- and she is gorgeous!
Happy birthday to you and Piper :)
Wed Nov 18, 02:23:00 PM
You're a good mama. It sounds like her day will actually be extra special.
Happy 31st, by the way. I hope this is your best decade yet.
P.S. I'm sorry for your loss.
stephanie@metropolitanmama.net
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