I'm 38 weeks pregnant today. You would think this post is all about how I just can't wait one single more second to meet my newest little child. Yes, it's so true, we patiently wait for birth to arrive. We anticipate it with so much love and joy. Time cannot pass quick enough.
Sadly, this post is not about birth - it's about the excruciating pain of waiting for death to arrive. Just as we wait for loved ones to come into the world, we sometimes find ourselves waiting for just the opposite.
Today, as I go about my trivial day-to-day business; I can't help but realize that in the back of my mind, I'm waiting for the news that Grandma B (my grandma) has passed. With every ring of the phone, I instantly wonder if this is the call.
I sit here typing this both filled with Joy and Sorrow. Sorrow for the loss of life and void she will leave my family - her presence was immense. Sorrow because at 38 weeks along, I won't be able to travel to say goodbye to her one last time. Joy for the life, example and legacy she has left us with. Joy because I know that when grandma leaves this Earth, she will be free of pain and suffering. Her body will never fail her again, it will be restored and new.
At 89 years old, she has lived a life well lived. Not because of fame or fortune; but because she lead the life God has called us to lead. A Godly woman, wife, mother, grandmother and friend.
Everything I can ever try to strive to be.
She has done it. Achieved it. Lived it.
Waiting is the Hardest Part
Friday, November 06, 2009
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I'm a celebrator,
I'm a Christian,
I'm a Daughter
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19 comments:
Fri Nov 06, 02:54:00 PM
I'm so sorry for your family; the wait is always the worst part at the end of everything - the end of pregnany, the end of a life. My thoughts and prayers go out to you.
Fri Nov 06, 02:56:00 PM
Your post took me back to last summer when I too was waiting for "the call" about my grandmother. That call was bittersweet, as I knew she was no longer in pain, but so sad that we lost such a tremendous member of our family. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your grandma.
Fri Nov 06, 03:12:00 PM
I've been there. So sorry for your family. The waiting is the worst part. Praying for you.
Fri Nov 06, 03:20:00 PM
Emily I'm so sorry for all the uncertainty right now, and how hard it must be to think about not being able to say goodbye like everyone else. I'm thankful for both of your faith in Christ, and the promise of eternal life.
Thankful to Call You "Friend",
Jen
Fri Nov 06, 03:58:00 PM
I'm praying for you and your family, Emily.
XO!
Tracy
Fri Nov 06, 04:02:00 PM
I know just what you mean. And it always amazes me how one life begins as another exits. It is comforting somehow.
Prayers for you.
Fri Nov 06, 05:24:00 PM
Beautiful post! Our prayers are with your family. Praise God for the gift of faith, which you clearly have. May He be your strength and peace!
Fri Nov 06, 05:44:00 PM
xoxo
Fri Nov 06, 08:54:00 PM
Oh Emily! I am so very very sorry friend! I wish there was something I could so or do to make it easier.
*hugs*
Thinking of you.
Fri Nov 06, 11:09:00 PM
Emily, I know what you mean. Exactly. My prayers are with you.
Sat Nov 07, 08:27:00 AM
This post brought tears to my eyes. Here's to new beginnings for you and your family... with grandma watching over from above.
Sat Nov 07, 08:41:00 AM
Emily, I am so sorry. Thinking of you.
Hugs.
Steph
Sun Nov 08, 09:33:00 AM
So sorry to hear about your grandmother. Exactly one year ago, I was in the same place (minus the 38 weeks pregnant), waiting for the call that my grandmother had passed and then getting on the phone with the airlines immediately to book a flight to fly 6,000 miles to be there for the funeral. I know you are supposed to take comfort in knowing that your grandmother will no longer be suffering or in pain and I hope that does bring you comfort. But, all in all, losing a beloved family member is just awful. Wishing you strength to get through this difficult time.
Sun Nov 08, 10:36:00 AM
It's been 13 years since my grandfather passed after a battle w/ cancer...and I still remember the pain of that wait. Sending hugs your way.
Sun Nov 08, 11:09:00 AM
I think there's something so beautiful about welcoming a new baby into your life as an elder passes on. What tremendous power there is in this circle we're all in...
Mon Nov 09, 08:45:00 AM
I am so sorry. Your Grandma sounds wonderful. You and your family have my prayers and thoughts.
Mon Nov 09, 06:22:00 PM
sorry about your loss, praying for your family
Tue Nov 10, 08:49:00 AM
Emily, I'm sorry to hear about your your grandma. Thinking of you and your family.
Tue Nov 10, 09:29:00 AM
heart, mind, prayers wrapped around you.
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